


15x15 coda: now and then

by contemplativepancakes



Series: Season 15 codas [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x15 coda, Coda, Episode: s15e15 Gimme Shelter, Fluff, M/M, giving us the answers about the cowboy pic and teddy bear that we deserve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/contemplativepancakes/pseuds/contemplativepancakes
Summary: Jerking back to the present, Cas spares one last look at the picture. It’s the first one they had taken, one Cas had never liked very much, so it wasn’t very hard to cut it down the middle so only the image of himself remained. He buries it, and hopes it’s symbolic.15x15 coda
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Season 15 codas [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539418
Comments: 9
Kudos: 77





	15x15 coda: now and then

Cas looks down at the worn picture in his hands, smoothing his thumb over it and thinking back to the day it was taken. 

Dean had put his hand on a woman’s shoulder who was flitting around the crime scene. “Hey, would you mind taking our picture? My partner’s been...laid up. It’s his first day back on the job, so I was hoping we’d be able to commemorate it.”

The woman had turned around and looked Dean up and down before holding out her hand for his phone. Cas shuffled next to Dean, leaving a respectable amount of space. The distance felt alien, but he knew Dean didn’t like it when he crowded his space in public. The woman clicked the screen to take the picture, moving to give the phone back to Dean, but he paused, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “Actually, could you take another one?”

Dean put his arm around Cas and pressed into Cas’s side. Cas looked at Dean in surprise, but Dean kept a smile on his face and stared resolutely ahead. The woman took the picture and gave the phone back, whispering something to Dean that made the tips of his ears turn red. 

Dean thrusted his phone over to Cas. “Looks good, huh?”

He had the second picture pulled up, and Cas had to agree. 

Jerking back to the present, Cas spares one last look at the picture. It’s the first one she had taken, one Cas had never liked very much, so it wasn’t very hard to cut it down the middle so only the image of himself remained. He buries it, and hopes it’s symbolic. 

-

After Jack tells Cas his news, the news that he’s planning to die, like he’s  _ fine  _ with it after a whopping three years of life, Cas can’t do anything but stare out the windshield. For all that Dean protests the fact, Jack is remarkably like him. A soul bomb? Cas shakes his head. Jack can’t really expect him to stand by and let this happen. Cas has already watched him die once, watched a demon parade around in his skin, watched him eat human hearts for all of this, and this is where Cas draws the line. He simply won’t allow it. 

He ruminates on this the whole way back to the bunker, trying to think of how he can stop it. By the time they get back, it’s late, and Cas is sure Sam and Dean are already asleep, so he puts his fingers to his lips and walks with Jack to his bedroom. His eyes catch on the teddy bear sitting in the corner, and Cas remembers this, too. He and Dean had been at the store, and Dean had dragged him over to the toy aisle because, “He’s a three year old, right? And he doesn’t have any toys? That’s not right, Cas.” 

Cas thought maybe Dean was trying to relive his own childhood through Jack, but he didn’t comment. Dean picked out a stuffed bear and displayed it proudly for Cas. “What do you think?” 

“I’m sure he’ll love it.”

After they checked out, with the bear sitting on top of all their groceries in the cart, Dean had handed it to Cas. “You give it to him, okay? I don’t think my man card could take the hit.”

Cas had rolled his eyes, but he had still given it to Jack. Jack had lit up with delight, and Cas understood the feeling. 

Sometimes it’s nice to have something all your own; something frivolous but meaningful. 

Cas runs his finger over the rectangular piece of plastic that lives in his trench coat pocket, eyeing the bear thoughtfully before turning to Jack. “I’m going to figure out how to get you out of this. This isn’t the only way.”

Jack looks at him with doleful eyes. “It is.”

Cas resists the urge to stomp his feet like a petulant child. “I’ll make a new one, then. You’re not going to die while I’m around to do something about it.”

Jack bites his lip, and Cas is sure he wants to say something, but Cas doesn’t particularly want to hear it. He turns and walks out of the room, drifting to the library to start researching, and he’s surprised when he comes across Dean. 

“I thought you’d be in bed.”

Dean grunts, hefting a whiskey bottle in his hand. “Couldn’t sleep. Where’s Jack?”

“In his room. Dean, I have to tell you something, in case I don’t make it back.”

“Don’t make it back? What are you talking about?”

The story comes pouring out, about what Jack told him and how Cas can’t let that happen.

“Cas, we’ll figure this out together. You don’t have to do everything alone, you know.”

Dean points at the chair next to him. “Sit down, okay? We’ll think of something, but you just got back. Everything will still be here in the morning.”

Cas hesitates. He doesn’t particularly want to waste any more time, but he could do with calming down before he starts looking over the lore, anyway. He’s liable to miss something with the way his mind is buzzing right now. He sits. 

“So, how’d your case go?” Dean asks, and Cas takes a deep breath, letting himself bask in the normalcy for a moment. 

“You know, I have to say the one of the men I met bore a remarkable resemblance to your Dr. Sexy.”

“Did you hit on him for me?”

Cas squints. “No?”

“Probably for the best. It’s not Dr. Sexy without cowboy boots, anyway.”

“Of course.” Cas shrugs. “It was fine. We stopped the murders, so that’s what’s imporant, right? How was seeing Amara, really? Not just the abridged version you gave me on the phone.”

“Mm. It was okay. What is it with cosmic entities and food? She wanted perogies.”

Cas taps his finger on his chin. “I could do with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

“You trying to remind me I have my very own cosmic entity right here?”

“Something like that.”

Dean shoves at him, his eyes crinkling at the corner like Cas loves to look at. It’s the way Dean looks in the picture Cas keeps in his wallet, and he has the urge to capture this moment, too. He knows Dean’s working up to something, though, so he stays still. 

“She told me… she wanted me to finally start to accept my life.”

Cas hums.

“That now is always better than then.”

Dean looks down between them and Cas follows his gaze. Cas twines his fingers with Dean’s, and Dean strokes his thumb over Cas’s hand. 

“You know what? I think she’s right.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! consider feeding your friendly neighborhood writer with a kudos and/or comment and feel free to come hang with me on [tumblr!](https://contemplativepancakes.tumblr.com/)


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